Fit By 40

As I begin to approach my 39th birthday, I have thought a lot about my physical self lately.
Because I am so out of shape, I have decided to give myself a birthday gift.
I have wanted to be fit and strong... and proud of my reflection... for as long as I can remember.
I have gotten on that track a few times by losing weight and hitting the gym, but eventually, life gets in my way, and I become derailed.

By 40, I want to be the person I have dreamed about!
I have one year to get this done.

Somehow, I need to be held accountable!
I need friends to call, text and Facebook me to ask about my progress!
If I am not progressing, I need to be reminded of how important this is!!
I don't need "Nice." I need a real, true friend. Honesty. Reality. Even if it hurts.

On days when I would rather sleep in, I need a push out of bed to run before it gets too hot outside.
In the evenings, I need to go to the gym, not drink beer in the hot tub!
I need to eat more fruits and vegetables as snacks, not chips and desserts!
I need to eat salads on the rare occasion that I do eat out, instead of reaching for the greasy burger and fries.
I need my loved ones to encourage healthier choices, instead of recommending that we "swing by for a Starbucks" on the way to go somewhere.

I realize that I am an adult, and I am fully capable of saying, "No," but sometimes it isn't easy.
Dangling things in front of my face makes it a whole lot harder.
I know I wouldn't go to Taco Bell on my own. In fact, I very rarely EVER eat out on my own!
But if the person I'm with suggests it, I'm quick to say, "sure!"

It is really hard for me!

As I have mentioned, I have allowed other things to get in my way.
The people that I live with (boyfriend and kids) and the people that I work with are the biggest distractors.
Now I need them to be my biggest cheerleaders!

From now on, if you aren't for me, you are against me.
If I am someone you genuinely care about, you will encourage me to be more fit and make better food choices.
I need positive reinforcement.
I need supportive people that know my health and longevity are more important than being able to stay up late, watching some television show.
More important than waving lemon cake under my nose or a late night ice cream run to Sonic.
More important than asking why I am having a salad instead of partaking in the Friday Night Potluck that is full of grease and cheese.

Where I am right now, is the most unhealthy I have ever been in my entire life.
Things need to change. If they don't, I may not be around for as long as my loved ones want me to me.
Being this way has made me feel depressed and uncomfortable with who I am.
My clothes are too tight.
Sitting with my legs crossed is painful because my thighs are too thick.
My shoulders and hips ache from the moment I wake up in the mornings.
I feel easily winded any time I do cardio.
My stomach even aches every time I eat!

Overall, I am unhappy and sick most of the time.
I don't want to be that person anymore!
So, my gift to myself for my 40th birthday is to be healthy, fit and happy!
And the only 40th gift I want from anyone else is a year's supply of love, encouragement, and understanding.
It's not too late, but if I keep putting it off, it will be.

UPDATE: A week later, I have lost 6.4 pounds so far! Yayy! :)

Tough Mudder!

**{I wrote this after running my 2nd Tough Mudder with my boyfriend. We will be doing his 2nd and my 3rd one in November!}}*

I'm a terrible runner. I tell people that, and they're all like, "yeah, me too."
No. You don't get it.
I could TRY running every single day for a year, and still only be able to kill 3 miles, tops.
But, I don't run every day.
So the Tough Mudder kicked my butt!
BUT... I am beyond proud of myself! I did an awesome job. I finished.
I have been fighting an ingrown toenail for 3 days. It wasn't stopping me.
My sciatic nerve decided to act up and send shooting pain down the back of my thigh, starting in the second mile. I kept going.
I despise cold water, and not only was every pond, stream, and mudhole cold, plus the rain and the Artic Enema... I still went on.
I faced my fears of jumping from heights by jumping off a platform into more cold water.
So, maybe I didn't RUN the whole thing. I don't care.
What I care about is that I finished... I didn't skip any obstacles, and shaved 45 minutes off of last year's time!
I frigging rock! — feeling accomplished.

**Post from my boyfriend**
Alright everyone, this is a VERY rough edit of our experience at Tough Mudder. First time ever using the software so I have a lot to learn, but I wanted to get something together as quickly as possible cause I know a few people have been dying to see it. Should be good for a few laughs!
Tough Mudder South Florida 13 April 2014: http://youtu.be/qepeKiUmz_0 

Body Stereotypes

As many of you probably know, I had lost about 40 pounds in the beginning of last year. This year, I'm working on improving my overall strength, especially my upper body. In May, I will be taking part in the Tough Mudder obstacle course with some teammates, which is about 10-13 miles long.

As I am working on getting myself into better and better shape, I notice that a lot of the muscles that I had while growing up are starting to return. It's like my body already knows how to develop strength... I just haven't pushed it in about 20 years.

(A little background... I grew up on a dairy farm, so I always helped bail hay, carry buckets, lift bags of grain, etc. Because of my upbringing, I was pretty strong for a girl of my age.)

So, thankfully, my body remembers being strong and I'm getting back in that direction.

While spending all this time at the gym, I also do research on eating healthy, proper food choices, vitamins and supplements, etc. I also have "liked" a few pages on Facebook that show other women that also work hard and are proud of the improvements that they have made with their bodies.

Personally, I love being strong.

I love the independence that it allows me, especially since I have a mostly-guy dominated job.

I don't, however, wish to become a body builder that sprays their tans on and stands in front of a crowd in a bikini and flexes. To me, those women have over-done it and are no longer feminine. While I do want to see stomach muscles ripple and my calves move when I walk... I don't want to look like that.

Basically, I am trying to find a happy medium. I just want definition without losing my "girlish figure."

I am posting a picture of what I feel I would like to look like. You can see the girl's muscles, but she's not all veiny and body-builder-ish. To me, she is still very sexy and feminine... I have, however, had different men tell me that she's not attractive and that they don't want someone with "that many muscles."

Please post your opinions... I look forward to reading them!

Our Brains are Melting

I read an article on Yahoo.com recently, discussing the health issues and the shortened lifespans related to people that sit on the couch, watching television much of the time. It turns out that the old rule of only 30 minutes of exercise a day, really doesn't make much difference, if all of the rest of the person's free time is sitting... either at a computer at work, or a television at home.

I only have one thing to say about this article: DUH!! They act like this was breaking news or something!

I've been telling people for years that TV rots their brain. It's one thing to read a book, fiction/non-fiction, trashy, mystery, whatever... it encourages your brain to be active and inspires creativity. But television? It does absolutely all of the work for you... you don't need to be creative and imagine what the room, or character, or sounds, or whatever else, might be like. They do it all for you! All you have to do is sit there and give your thumb a remote control workout because there are 900+ channels with absolutely nothing on!

Good thing you dish out that $80/month or however much cable is costing these days...

I, personally, have not paid for cable in years. I was dating a guy for 4 years, and I think he chose to pay to have it at our house for about 2 of those years... I didn't have it before he came along and I don't have it now. I just don't see any point in getting wrapped up in it. I can say that when we did have cable at our house, I was a much less active person, had fewer friends, and my health/eating habits were much worse.

I believe that television lowers your quality of life. If you are constantly glued to a TV, then you are not playing with your children. You are not discussing the day's events with your partner. You are not getting exercise with your dog. There are so many better ways to spend your time, than by sitting on the couch watching the "Boob Tube!"

I am not trying to be judgmental here. I do understand that people often have it on as "back ground noise" and it's always good to watch the news to keep up with current events. I also understand the concept of snuggling with your kids and “vegging” on a movie on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

The problem that we're looking at here, is the people that go to work, and the minute they walk in the door, they throw their stuff down, sink into the couch with a bag of chips and a soda, and glare mindlessly at the bright colors flashing before them in some sort of hypnotic trance until 10 or 11 o'clock at night. Then, they get up, brush their teeth, and go to bed... often times with a different television running in the bedroom "so they can sleep."

These are the people that need to get out more!

I own a television... It is currently unplugged, sitting on top of a plastic bin full of old photos, shoved in a corner on top of my dresser. I do not have cable, there isn't a Wii or other video game connected to it, or even a DVD player. The reason is because unless I'm sleeping, I am rarely home! I work full time, I run, I go to the gym, I visit the beach, I go to my friend's houses for pool parties and BBQ's... I find things to do that require social interaction!

Recently, a friend at work was talking about being depressed and gaining weight, and somehow, the conversation turned to television. I mentioned to him my situation where my TV isn't even plugged in, and that I am forced to find alternative ways to entertain myself. So, he created a challenge for himself, and said that he would unplug his television for 30 days, just to see how his lifestyle changes.

Whenever I see him at work, he tells me how things are going. It has now been over three months! During the first month, he said he often was tempted to plug it in "just for an hour or so" but he resisted. Over time, he found that he went back to things that he used to enjoy doing, like playing basketball and riding his bike. He also said that his house was cleaner, he reconnected with friends that he hadn't talked to in a while, and his mood and depression were even lifting. Also, because of his more active lifestyle, he was losing some weight and felt healthier.

My friend has figured out something that I've known for years. There are so many benefits to living without television! The only negative aspect of it is that when people start talking about movie trailers, new television shows, or whatever... neither of us have absolutely any idea what they are talking about!! But, I’m ok with that, and I think he is as well.

Roller Derby

Last weekend, I went roller skating with a friend and his daughter, and I was approached by the coach of a roller derby team here in town. She asked me if I had ever considered joining a team. My initial reaction was that I'm not that great of a skater. Well, let me change that. I can skate, fast, and I'm pretty good at weaving around people... I am not good at stopping ("Catch me!!"), and I can't skate backwards or anything fancy like that. So, as much fun as roller derby sounded (it appeals to my aggressive, prove-things-to-myself side), I didn't consider myself a very good candidate and told her as much. Then she explained that once you join, you are put into one of three levels and they train you to do the rest. The beginner level teaches stopping, going backwards, squats, and so on. The intermediate level teaches more balance, for when people are trying to knock you down, and teaches you to push other people. That's the team part of it. Then, once you make it up to the Expert level, they will start putting you in actual races. It sounded like a lot of fun, and the more she told me about it, the more interested I became! The only hang up right now is that their practices are on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. I can't make the Wednesday practices because I work nights. So... I'll have to wait until June when I'm supposed to go to the PR shop, and will probably end up working days at that time. So, meanwhile, I'm going to start checking out the Sunday morning practices and see how that goes. In addition, this week started the "hard core" training for Tough Mudder. We spent 2.5 hours at the gym on Monday night.... I ran for an hour and then did several exercises that have left my muscles still sore two days later! lol. It feels awesome and can't wait to hit the gym again tonight! I also came across an obstacle course that is shorter than Tough Mudder (I believe it's 4-6 miles) that will be taking place somewhere in North Florida in July. I'm thinking about checking that out as a "practice" run. By that time, I'll have a bit of training under my belt, and then I'll try the course and see where I need to continue working, or work more. I'm also still planning on doing the Breast Cancer 5K in May with my friend, Don, and the Never Quit 5K at Jax Beach in June, with some people from work. So, I've got a lot of plans, but it feels really good to keep myself busy in a healthy way. I love finally having a hobby that I feel good about! I don't think I've ever really had a hobby before. I enjoy challenging myself, and forcing my body to work hard to meet those goals. In November, I was barely able to run a 1/2 mile... now I run 3+ miles nearly every day! I feel better, I look better, and my confidence is so much better! I'm excited about life again... It's amazing!!

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Tough Mudder

Lately, my whole Breast Cancer ordeal has been weighing on my mind. I am not completely sure why, but it has been consuming more of my though process than it usually does. So, I have decided to do something about it.

I have always been a very stubborn, pig headed person... just ask my parents. I generally did what I wanted to in the long run, no matter how much it was going to get me in trouble later. I'm sure they were pulling their hair out while trying to raise a teenage Brenda! But I know that my stubbornness is what helped me survive the darkest year of my life, and the very difficult following 5 years.

But, finally, in more ways than one, I am a survivor. This survivor status has left me with a residual problem. I have an overwhelming urge to prove things to myself. I don't look in the mirror and see anything extraordinary, but I feel like God has left me on this earth for a reason. I'm not saying I'm destined for fame or fortune, or planning to go into Christian Ministry... but I feel I was left for a reason. I used to feel it was because my children needed me so much. But, as they get older, I believe I need them more than they need me now! I have more recently come to realize that God granted me more time to learn to really appreciate the life that I have! Live it to the fullest! Challenge myself and see what I can make of it!!

As many of you may know, back in November, I began running and dieting, and have managed to lose a bit of weight and am now going to the gym 4-5 times a week. My initial goal was to be able to run a 5K, since I was barely able to run even one mile. Well, I can do a 5K, and am planning on doing two of them in the next two months.

So, now that I have met that challenge, what's next? I have a short attention span, so I need something that will keep me feeling challenged and interested. So, after talking to some friends, my next big challenge is the Tough Mudder challenge. Check out the website... I am super excited about setting up a team and challenging myself by training and finishing these races.

I realize that it is unlikely that I (aka my team) will actually win the whole thing, but it is extremely important to prove to myself that I can finish it! There is one in Tampa in December, and then they are coming to Jacksonville in May of next year. I fully intend to take part in both of these challenges... not to prove anything to anyone else, but to prove to myself that I survived cancer for a reason. I survived because God loves me and wants me to realize my own competitive nature and self worth!

So, to sum it up:
I'm thinking of a team of 4-6 people...
We need people that are tough... Physically, but even more importantly, Mentally!
Team players, willing to do what needs to be done to get the whole group through the challenge.
People that are willing to put training and team-time into getting ready for these events.

I've already had several people say they would do it, but there is only so much room on a team. I love my friends, however, and I really feel like our team needs to be made of the most reliable, mentally tough people that I know. Since there is limited space, and you still feel like you want to do it, definately create your own team! I would love to have personal (friendly) challenges as part of the race! It would add a whole new element, and making it even more fun!!

Training starts Monday for me... and the first challenge is in Tampa, FL, on Dec. 1st... That leaves me with only 225 days to get ready!!

Hi, People!

Hey, everyone! I didn't realize that it had been so long since I blogged! I don't have a laptop at my house, I'm not about to even try to blog on my phone, and I rarely get on the computers at work... Time flies!!

So, let me see what I've been up to... I'm looking at a likely move from the tool room at work to the PR Shop (survival equipment). As many of you know, that was what I did while I was in the Navy. This move will help me out tremendously, and I'm really excited about the opportunity!!

I have also been going to the gym and trying to train myself for running 5k's. I am a terrible runner (think drunk duck) and so this has been a challenge for me. I have managed to lose just over 20 pounds, and have actually gotten to the point that I look forward to going to the gym and miss it on days that I don't. I will be running a 5k in May for Breast Cancer research, and one on the beach (in the sand!!) in June for Life Choices that encourage people to be aware of preventing Brain Bleeds, Heart Attacks and stroke. This new "hobby" is something I feel is good for me, and when I take part in the races, I am helping out a good cause. So, it's a win-win!!

Ashleigh is still in Georgia. She's doing very well for herself. She had a rough patch for about a month, but she's very strong, and has made it through. The transmission in her car had gone out, so she stayed with a friend from work for a while so that she could save up money. She finally just sold the car, since it would cost her more to fix it than it was worth. She ended up getting herself a cute 2010 Nissan Sentra, so she has entered the world of car payments... My little girl is growing up so fast!!

In addition, she has been able to move from her friend's house to a different place. As it turns out, she made friends with someone that works for Siemens, and he does a lot of traveling. He needed someone to live at the house and take care of it and his two dogs while he was out of town. Ashleigh was in the right place at the right time, and is now living in a beautiful home, rent free! This is an excellent opportunity for her, and I'm very excited!!

Carley is doing great. All the kids in Florida are doing their annual FCAT testing this week, so I went today and had lunch with her. She said that she has a really good feeling about her tests so far, which is great. I am so excited about moving down here because I get to see her all the time! Even without having a lot of money, Jacksonville is an amazing place to live, that is always offering inexpensive or free things for families with children. Even when there is nothing going on, we make it out to the beach or to a friend's pool when we can.

Chuck, unfortunately, is still in Georgia. He doesn't seem to be having luck finding work down here, but he does manage to visit about once a month or so. He is really missed, but I know that when the time is right, something really great will come up for him.

I am still staying with my friend, Tammy, and we have my dog, her two turtles, and an albino ferrett... plus her two girls, and Carley much of the time. We have a house full... and it is wonderful! I couldn't ask for a better roommate. I am grateful for everything that she has done to help me out and I appreciate her company on the weekends. We rarely see eachother during the week, since she works days and I work nights. That works out well, though, so we don't drive eachother crazy! lol

I guess that's about it for now. Everything seems to be going in the right direction for the first time in a long time. I am not only happy, I am content. It is a really, really good feeling!!

...And I'll try not to wait so long to update again!! lol