Thursday, September 15, 2011

Pass the Word

Lately, I’ve had a few people utter the words “your blog has inspired me”
and it shocks me every single time!

I started writing down my thoughts to get things out of my head.
If you know me, you know that I dwell (aka “Stress”) on things for days, and even weeks.
I think, re-think, and then re-think my re-thunk-thoughts…
…and then talk to people about it,
…and then do the whole process all over again.

I’m a Libra.
There is a reason the scales are our symbol.

I’ve tried several times during my life to write in journals, in order to sort out what is in my head.
The problem with me, however, is that I need feedback.

Thus, a blog.

So, I was talking to a friend today, and he very recently signed divorce papers, and is in the beginning of what I went through nearly four years ago. I remember talking to him a day or two before him signing the papers, about how divorce is a very painful process, and even if you know it is the right thing, and you know that it is going to be better for everyone involved to just get it over with, you also know that there was something about that person that you loved at one time. Sometimes it’s hard to remember what that thing is, but it was there once.

Divorce is like death.

That one little thing that you loved about that person is what you remember late at night, when you’re all alone, crying over the death of your marriage. That is when you briefly forget all the pain that they caused you, and forgive, if only for a moment.

You can’t force someone to love you. God knows I’ve tried. I know a lot of people that have tried. But, you can only love as much as possible and then leave when it gets to be too much.

So, this friend was on my mind and I decided to see how he was holding up.

I sent him a message, and he told me that he has a lot to figure out right now. He also told me, “I don't know that I'm in the greatest place right now but I'm really good at pretending I am.”

I don’t have answers for my friend. Things do get better with time. Until then, my suggestion to him is, “Continue pretending that everything is ok, and one day, you will look around and realize that you’re not pretending anymore!”

My friend did also mention that reading my blog has helped him. He told me that it is reassuring to know that he isn’t the only person going through these things. GASP! You mean there are more of us?

That leads me to my final thought.
I can’t be the only one. The State of Florida is helping my ex husband screw me over at every turn that I make. They just start garnishing my wages. When I got a second job to help relieve some of the burden, they began garnishing those wages as well. Seriously?

Apparently, when you are not the custodial parent in Florida, you are considered guilty without a trial, and then get to spend the next 2 (plus) years and thousands in lawyer & court costs to finally prove that you are not.

I have been wracking my brain, trying to figure out a way to help myself and other people in my situation.

One person suggested that I write to the local congressman. I think that would be a great idea, if I lived in that area, and he cared about my opinion. But, since I don’t, and I didn’t vote for him, I doubt he will give me a second thought.

It was also suggested that I write a newspaper article and send it to the Jacksonville newspaper. I think that would definitely get someone’s attention… but I don’t know anything about writing a newspaper article. Blogging is something completely different. Blogging is just me putting my thoughts on the computer.

Writing an article should NOT be about me whining about “poor me” to the press. It needs to be more professional than that, and I’m not sure I’m up to it.

So, I have recruited the help of one person to write something, but I am always open to suggestions.

Finally, I wanted to ask that anyone that reads this and has a blog… please add a link to my page!
If any of my other readers know anyone that might be interested in reading my story,
please e-mail,
tweet,
text message,
or put a link on their facebook of my blog.


I would love to have more readers. I think it is bound to get someone’s attention, if enough people know what is going on.

The State of Florida has actually told me that it isn’t their problem because they don’t work for me. They work for the "custodial parent.”

HELLO! They are supposed to be working for my child! Taking all of my money so that I can’t even drive out to see my child is not helping her at all!

So, I figure that if I have a lot of readers, someone, somewhere, may be able to offer advice on what to do, or who I can turn to. Thanks in advance for everyone’s help!!

2 comments:

  1. Just so you know and probably have seen the first thing I did was link your site on my blog. Your blog was my inspiration and it deserves a spot on it. As for some of the suggestions you have received, writing the newspaper could get you in hot water. If it comes across as degrading he could sue you for 'defimation of character' plus pain and suffering. Not a good idea. The legal system for child support/custody is a terrible thing. They do not work for either parent nor the child. They work for the state and the laws that are written. Unfortunatly the laws favor the custodial parent no matter what the situation is. My advice, and take it for the 2 cents it worth is to keep extensive records of each paycheck they garnish and any money you send should be in the form of a money order with what it is for clearly written on it. Other then that you have to let the lawyers hash through all the red tape to get to the judge. Once your infront of the judge your mountain of paperwork will prove that he filed a false report and then he is in trouble. Here in California you can counter sue right then and there for a maximum ammount of $50,000. The judge usually awards it on the spot...lol. Watched the same situation happen 4 times here before I got out of the Navy.

    Keep your head up and stay strong hun. You will beat this and he will get what he deserves in the end.

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  2. Greg, I completely agree with you about an article being defamation, if it were about my ex. Actually, I was gearing the article more towards the State of Florida. What ever happened to "innocent until proven guilty?" If the State is going to treat me like a common criminal every time I try to deal with them, then shouldn't I have the right of a fair trial? I didn't get anything like that. They just started punishing me immediately while assuming that I am guilty of what my ex claimed.

    Anyhoo, the hearing with him is on Wednesday of next week. We'll see how that goes. Really, I just want to get it over with so I can move on with my life...

    By the way, Thank you for adding me to your blog! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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