Nobody Listens

Have you ever felt like nobody hears what you are saying?
I am sure that everyone has felt like this at some point or another in their lives.
But have you felt like this all the time? I always have, my whole life. I feel just ignored and kicked aside. Useless in others' eyes.
My parents did it to me while I was growing up; my ex husband did it for the whole decade-plus that we were together; my boyfriend, kids and co workers do it to me now. No matter what the situation, if I feel like I have an idea, or something to offer to the situation, I speak up.
Invariably, whomever I am talking to will immediately dismiss me, tell me how there is "no way" my idea would work, and then continue to struggle without giving it a try. And more times than not, the person will eventually try my idea (not even aware that I had thought of it), see that it worked, and make a huge deal about how they thought of it!!
Are you kidding me right now?
I don't know if my grasp of the English language is just that bad, that I don't get my point across...
Or people these days are just so busy thinking about what they will say next that they don't even hear my input and immediately shoot it down...
Or if there is just something about me that just voids any respectability that my ideas may hold.
By no means do I consider myself a genius, but I did score a 97 on the ASVAB (military entrance exam). Just to clue you in, in order to go to Nuke School, the average ASVAB score is only an 80+. So, I'm not dumb, either.
So why do people just dismiss me no matter what? It frustrates me when I am treated like that, and then I just stop wanting anything to do with the project. I become stubborn and refuse to help. Often times, I now just step back and let the person struggle. Why try to help someone that has shown time and again that my suggestions mean nothing to them?
I don't know why exactly I wrote this post. Just to vent my frustration, I guess, as much good as it will do me!
What is it about a person (my boyfriend, for instance) that people will listen to him, but not to me? If I do not have a valid idea, I am not going to waste my time telling you about what I think.
But... these days, I think I'm done telling people what I think anyways. What is the point? Besides, it's entertaining to watch them struggle....

The Re-Interview of My Daughter, Carley

The 2011 Interview with Ms. Carley...

My daughter and I have decided to ask the questions from her original interview from 2011. She was 10 at the time, and is now 12 years old. I think it will be interesting to see what questions have changed and what has stayed the same!

The questions are in Black, her current answers are in Blue, and her 10 year old answers are in Brown. Hope you enjoy! 

1.      Tell me the five best things about you. Freckles, "Awesome Personality," the fact that "I'm your kid," my hair, and my drawing talent. Drawing, singing, funny, smart, awesome freckles
2.      What does the word "success" mean to you? Being able to do what I want when I'm older. They have done something great and have accomplished a task wonderfully
3.      Why do kids put rings in their eyebrows and nose? Because they think that it makes them cooler and they just want to fit in... even tho I think they look like dorks. Because they think it’s cool because they see it on tv. Really it’s not that cool. They think it will make them look more popular.
4.      If you could tell me never to serve two vegetables again, which two would you choose? Pinto Beans and Brussel Sprouts Sweet potatoes and baked carrots.
5.      Who do you think I'd rather you be: an NBA ballplayer, the mayor, a famous explorer, or a movie star? Why? A famous explorer because I could find a really great place for you to live. An NBA player because you hear me talk about basketball a lot and it is fun for me.
6.      Which of your friends do you think I like the most? Why? Nikki, because she's a really big dork and she makes you laugh with her sarcastic comments. Savannah, because she’s honest, funny and really nice.
7.      On a scale of one to nine – one being not at all and nine being totally – how strict do you think I am? Where on the scale would you like me to be? You're a 3 because you want me to succeed, and I would prefer you were a 4 because I need to be pushed harder. You’re a one. You should be a two??? (in a very weak voice)
8.      What would be the ideal allowance? Tell me how you would use it. $10/week; use it for snacks at school, buy duct tape and things like that. $5.00 for stuff that I need like for junk food that I want so you don’t have to pay for my junk food; and toys that I want.
9.      Who was the worst teacher you ever had? Tell me why. Mrs. Kopleman because she's our language arts teacher that hates us. Nope does NOT like us. Gives us the evil eye from across the room! Oh my goodness! Mrs. J, because she is very, very strict. If you just mess up little things, you could get into a lot of trouble. She was strict.
10.  What would the ideal teacher be like? She would  be just like Mrs. Eddings because she cares for us like we're her own kids. She's easier on us. Very sweet, and just like Mrs. Scott or my mommy.
11.  Which one of your friends is the funniest looking? Why? Ramone because he looks like a dinosaur from the side because he has a big head and a Mohawk!! (she is cracking up right now) Mia, because she has a flat nose, and she always has her eyebrows scrunched up. It’s funny.
12.  If you could arrange it, what time would I come home from work? Then, what would we do together? You wouldn't go to work, but still get paid because that would be awesome. We would have a "girls' day" every day because we would be rich! You would come home at Lunch time, so we could go to lunch together and then have a girl’s night after.
13.   Can you think of any clothes that I should never put on again? Why? If you had anything lacy, I wouldn't want to see that. It's scary for any person in this world! Nobody should wear lace ever. If you’ve ever worn it, you should never wear it again.
14.  If a genie would give you only one wish, which would you pick, and why? being world-class attractive, being a genius, or being famous for doing something great? Famous for something great, because I would be doing something I love like helping kids with special needs or something like that. The last one, because I would gets lot of money so that I could take care of my family and myself.
15.  If you are feeling sad, what meal that I could make or order would be the one that would cheer you up? I like it when you make ice cream sundaes. Ice cream always makes me feel better.
16.  Are you afraid when we fly? No, because I'm with somebody. If I were alone, it would be scary because people scare me. No, it’s fun.
17.  Tell me who you think are the three greatest musicians in the world? Cher Lloyd, Bruno Mars, and Liam Payne Elvis Presley, Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson.
18.  If you could change three things about yourself, what would they be? My shoe size, because I have big feet; My height because I'm short; My laugh because I sound like a dying walrus. Nothing. I like myself perfectly.
19.  What are the qualities that make a good friend? Trust, respect, funny, and loving. Truthfulness, kindness, funniness
20.  What was your favorite toy when you were little?  Poly Pockets! my teddy bear
21.  What do you say to comfort yourself when something scares you (like when a plane is bumpy, of when you are in a scary place)? (breaking into song) "This girl is on fire!!" No, but really... I don't really say anything to myself. I just try to stay calm. It’s ok, just go to your happy place.
22.  What do you think makes a person good-looking? Their personality. The inside is what counts.
23.  If you could decorate our place, what would it look like? It would be a big house with a bunch of rooms; lazy river going through the house; the walls would be rainbow w/ peace signs and band posters everywhere. It would be pink and purple and light blue all over.
24.  What do you think of my driving? Um, it's good. It's just the other idiots on the road! (No, I didn't pay her for that answer!!) Awesome. It’s better than chuck’s.
25.  Looking at your pictures. When do you think you have been the cutest so far? Dude, I've always been cute! When I was a baby.
26.  What is the most enjoyable thing our family has done together in the last three years? Going to the Coke Museum and the Atlanta Aquarium in the same day! Go to the Atlanta aquarium and the coke museum in the same day.
27.  What is the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you? Take me to get my nails done and a girls' weekend! They had my back when I got into trouble.
28.  Why do you, or don't you, like violent movies? I like them because it's fun watching people get hurt. It's a good way to vent anger. They just give me the creeps!
29.  What sport (that you haven't tried) do you think you would be good at? On a swim team because I can hold my breath for a long time and I'm a fast swimmer. Skateboarding
30.  If you were going to have a weird, unusual pet, what would it be? Why would you want that pet? I would want a llama so it will spit in the faces of the people I don't like! An elephant; it’s protective, humungous, it can be a ride, very loving, and I want to name it Ellie.
31.  If you could look like anyone, who would it be? Why? A combination of my mom and Jess because I already do and it's fabulous! My mommy because I already do!
32.  Do you think girls look better with or without makeup? Why? It depends on the person. Some people don't take care of themselves and kind of need it. Other people have good skin and don't really need makeup. Without makeup, because they need to show themselves; with makeup, they are just making themselves look fake.
33.  What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? Why? That move... that I watched with Ashleigh... that one time... at that one place... your friend's house... It had that lady that ate people's tongues. It was so creepy! Dead silent; because the woman ate people’s tongues
34.  What is the grossest thing you can think of? Jess licked her ID card to make it work in the swiper at work! (ew) Snakes
35.  What would you do if you were invisible for a day? I would stalk Channing Tatum... Play pranks on people, especially my sister
36.  Do you ever have a dream that comes back over and over? If so, what is it like? A dream that I get the day before my birthday every year. You (mom) gets captured by a demon and you hide me under a bathroom sink. I have to go through different worlds to find you and I can hear you screaming on every world. When I do find you, you're almost dead. (Might need therapy?? lol) Yes. A nightmare that has come ever since right before my 5^th birthday; a goblin/demon that captures you and Ashleigh, and I have to come and find you. It scares me.
37.  Why do you think some people don't like animals? Because they're just stupid. Because they might be allergic, or they might think it’s too much work.

As she gets older, Carley is turning into a smart, funny, beautiful young lady. She has a good heart and is a kind person. She is currently growing her hair out to donate for Locks of Love, plays the Flute at school, and is interested in doing things to help needy children when she is older. As her mother, I couldn't be more proud of the beautiful lady that outshines me at every turn. I look forward to seeing what new amazing things she has in store for herself!

Somebody Bring Me Some Food!

So, I started Mid-Check today at work. I feel like I have jet lag already, and my shift isn't even over! It's not even 2am, which is funny, because when I was working nights, I routinely stayed awake until 2am or even later... I believe this shop just sucks all the fun out of being up late! lol. My answer to this jet lag feeling is 5 hour energy drinks at night, and melentonin (natural sleep aid) in the daytime... I'm not sure it's the healthiest way to go about it, but it's the best plan that I could think of.

Not really much to talk about today... I am mostly trying to kill some time, since I managed to finish the book that I was reading about 30 minutes ago, and I ran out of things to look at on Facebook. Nobody is posting, because everyone I know is in bed!

In other news, I had Carley for a whole 2 weeks... It was awesome, and she was finally able to spend some quality time with Jannian's kids, since they are here visiting as well. She was excited to go back to her Dad's house, though, because they are getting ready to go to South Carolina for a beach vacation. I'm very happy for her and I hope they have a wonderful time!

Ashleigh seems to still be doing well. I don't hear a lot from her. She's like me... doesn't call home very much, so no news is good news. But, she did text me for a few minutes earlier today, and it sounds like she is skipping the trip to SC to meet up with her Dad's side of the family, but is hoping to plan a trip down to Florida soon. That makes me happy, because it's been too long since I've seen her!!

I guess that's about it for now... Nothing new or exciting in my life happening currently, and no major thought processes that I feel compelled to share. Most likely, I'll post this, and end up deleting it in a week or so, seeing as it is most definitely NOT one of my best blogs...

Have a wonderful night, friends... and Somebody Bring Me Some Food! (I should note that I did bring in a freezer dinner to eat, but I mostly want to snack... because I'm bored... I am going to have to find a way to relieve this boredom if I'm going to stay on this shift! Eating is not the answer! lol)

One Down, Four to Go

So, I called Michael's yesterday and quit my job.
I felt bad for not giving them a notice, since they had me scheduled to work 7 out of the next 8 days and will need to find someone to fill in for me...
Wait... my PART TIME JOB had me scheduled to work 7 out of the next 8 days? WTF? Maybe I don't feel so bad after all.
I rarely saw my boyfriend.
I saw Ashleigh even less because she was sleeping when I got up in the morning, and she was usually working when I got home at night. Then, I would be asleep by the time she got there. Most of my news about my own daughter was told to me by other people in the house. Well, at least I know she's still alive...

All in all, though, Michael's really wasn't a bad job. I liked most of the people that I worked with. I'll really miss my discount, though! Chuck and I were talking about all the free time I was going to have, and we decided that we needed hobbies so we wouldn't drive eachother nuts. Damn, can I get my job back so I can get my discount on craft stuff?? lol. Guess I'll just use one of the friends/family coupons and stock up! lol.

Today is payday. I am super excited to announce that Chuck and I are paying off the first of five large bills today. I wish I could just put out a huge list and take a gigantic red marker and put a great big, fat line through "Bank of America Loan." Regardless... it's done. I'm so happy!! This has turned into a pretty good week.

I also realized that when I told everyone about the hearing, I didn't tell you about my visit with Carley. It was WAY too short, of course, but it is always good to see my little girl. Well, I don't know about "little" so much. She's getting tall!! It makes me sad to see how much she has changed in between my visits. But, she's funny, smart, and beautiful. I couldn't be more proud to call her my daughter. I can't wait to see her again. I did snap this picture during our visit, though (we were doing Mad Libs).

I guess that's about it. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! I might start a hobby, since I'm free for two whole days!

New Shoes

Yay for new Tennis Shoes! I needed a black pair of shoes for my 2nd job, and since we're not having to pay rent, we were able to get me a pair, Chuck a pair, and Carley a pair for school!! Plus, we ate out at IHOP last night. It's nice to be able to relax and actually just enjoy eachother's company without constantly worring. Before, I would have stressed myself out about how to afford a new pair of shoes just for me! It's not like we're rich all of a sudden, but it sure does feel like we are!

So, we got the Jeep fixed... there was a problem with the clutch. Then, we got insurance on Chuck's car that has been sitting in our driveway taking up space for months. Once it was insured, he went to the tag office and got the plate and registration, then had it towed to the mechanic's. YAY! I'm so excited!! The mechanic is on vacation for a week, but that's ok. I'm a lot closer to getting my jeep back than I was on Monday!

So, I head into Michael's this afternoon for day-2 of my new job. It will make for a long day, since I'm at my regular job from 7:30 until 5:00, then Michael's from 5:30 until 9:30, but I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and learning new things. I love that store, and so far, I like everyone that I've met.

Then, tomorrow morning, I've got to finish Carley's laundry, and start getting her packed before going into Michael's for a few hours in the afternoon. Saturday night, we'll probably do something nice, since it's Carley's last day here before she goes home on Sunday. The past 2 weeks have flown by, and I've really loved having her here. With Carley around, I've noticed that Ash has been around a lot more lately, too! It's nice to see both of my girls more. I am so proud of them. They are beautiful, smart, and funny! Both of them can crack me up, because they're witty. They get that from their Dad.

Even though their Dad and I don't see eye-to-eye anymore, it's still nice to spend time with the girls and see in them the things that I once loved so much in him.

Anyhoo, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I'm sure that once Carley has gone back to Florida, I'll be on here a little more often. Lately, I've been terrible about posting! I've got some catching up to do.