Cancer Leaves Scars That You Can't Always See

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006. I don't think about it much on a daily basis anymore, because over time, the emotional trauma has somewhat faded. The scars are just part of me like the nose on my face.

But quite often, someone crosses my path that is dealing with this terrible disease in some way, either themselves, or someone they care about. 
A friend of a friend started chemo today. I have never met her, but I understand what she is going through. So many questions, fears, worries. I pray that her experience goes well.
Suddenly, so many of the emotions come flowing back. I can still feel the ups and downs... the frustrations, exhaustion, and the loneliness involved. I was surrounded by people, yet still so alone. I am grateful to my friend for being there for her friend. It will mean so much for the rest of her, hopefully very long, life.
I still, to this day, can't find the right words to accurately describe my experience, other than that it is, indeed
LIFE CHANGING.
Saying prayers for my friend's friend.

**{This was a related post, several months later.}

I see so many of my friends and family struggling right now. I have seen the pain they are going through and I completely understand it. Some things feel like they really should just kill you!!
All I can offer is that I believe things do happen for a reason. My cancer diagnosis started a chain of events that brought a lot of pain and heartache. Things that I have no idea how I survived. Things that caused me to be angry and bitter in my heart for years!
Only to finally open my eyes one day and see. It was all to lead me to a place. To a person. To be a part of something bigger than just myself!
Now I have Jon, 2 more beautiful daughters in my life, and the little boy that I had always hoped for.
I look forward to seeing where the future will take us!
And I pray that those going through painful parts of their lives, will find peace and be able to see their purpose and bigger picture soon.
Sending love... You know who you are...

25 Random Things About Me...

**Because I have some free time, 25 random things you never really cared to know about me... **

1.  Outside of my kids, my dog (Dee Oh Jee) & my Jeep (Rita Wrangler) are my two most prized possessions.
2.  My favorite candy would have to be Skittles.
3.  I can still recite the 50 states in alphabetical order, after learning them in a song in elementary school.
4.  I have figured out that I am perfectly happy being single, and am in no big rush to begin yet another relationship.
5.  I have a fear that people will tire of me, (either visiting or in a relationship) so I tend to "understay" my welcome because I'm so afraid of becoming a burden or annoying. 
6.  I have, somehow, managed to never break a single bone in my body (knock on wood).
7.  I am a 5-year breast cancer survivor... 4 surgeries, a year of chemo, and 8 weeks of radiation...
8.  I figured out years ago that I don't have any natural talents in anything. I am a completely average person (I'm ok with it!!) and what I do manage to accomplish well is done after much practice and struggle. I believe I appreciate my own accomplishments more because of it.
9.  I have a constant need to prove things to myself... I want to be in the Tough Mudder race simply to prove to myself that I can do it!
10.  My taste in music is pretty random, from classical rock, to 80s & 90s, to jam bands (thanks, Chuck) to country, to Top 40.
11.  I dress up for Halloween every year no matter what... it's my favorite holiday.
12.  I am a night person... I do not do mornings if at all possible... ever.
13.  I know how to knock down and rebuild walls, drywall, lay tile, pour cement, replace windows & doors, minor plumbing & electrical work, and several other remodeling things... and if I haven't done something before, I have no problem with googling instructions and teaching myself!
14.  I have had more jobs than I can count... everything from bartending & retail, to fueling airplanes, to office management.
15.  I love spicy food. (The saying is, "There's hot, and then there's Brenda-Hot"). My absolute favorite food is Taco Soup... I love it so spicy that mere mortals break into a sweat when they enter the room.
16.  I will occasionally watch a movie, but I pretty much never sit down to watch television. I am far too busy for it.
17.  Books are important to me, and I currently live less than a mile from the local library... I love that. I also love that both of my kids are also readers.
18.  I am the baby of the family, and I exude the syndrome (pay attention to me!!!). My friends know and understand this (and cooperate accordingly).
19.  I'm constantly grateful for the number of people in my life to which I can openly say, "I love you." I'm very lucky to be surrounded by such awesomeness.
20.  If I could sell off everything I own and move anywhere in the world, it would be either Italy or Southern Spain... If I had to stay in the US, I'm leaning towards Pittsburgh. I love that place.
21.  I'm a Libra, so I have a really bad problem with thinking, rethinking, and thinking again about things. I examine every angle, consider everyone's opinion, and then begin the process all over again... I even annoy myself with it.
22.  I'm assuming that my greatest physical asset is probably my smile (aka, dimples)... that is what I'm complimented on the most often... Personally, though, I think I have cute feet! lol.
23.  My greatest desire is to find a way to support myself while still being able to travel all over the world and try new things/meet new people/discover new cultures.
24.  I'm one of the strongest people I know, which can get me into trouble.  I am usually so hell-bent on being strong that I don't have enough sense to actually ask for help when it is needed.
25.  I'm constantly trying to find (and hold onto) my own inner peace & happiness. I make a conscious effort to find the positive in something, especially if it seems like a negative situation.