*{This was a post from last Christmas, when I got out my decorations.}*
So I was completely bummed out today because what little Christmas stuff that I have hung on to after my many moves over the past several years (I held onto things with sentimental value) was mostly ruined when I got it out of my storage today. Somehow, water got into this plastic tote and anything that had material/fabric was covered in mold and had to be thrown away. Many of the ornaments that had paint were peeling, so they also ended up in the trash.
But...
The more I thought about it, the better I felt. I have wonderful, NEW additions to my family... Ashleigh and Carley are happy and healthy, and we have a lot of memories. I don't have to hang on to every ornament they ever made me to prove that. So, maybe it is time to get new, fresh Christmas decorations to help create new memories. The more I processed all of this, the more I became happy about putting my tree up early (due to the schedule with the kids), and I think I'm even starting to get excited about this holiday season.... which is something that I haven't really felt in a long, long time.
I've said it before, but I will say it again:
Life is, indeed, very good.... — feeling blessed and loved with Jonathan Lee.
Showing posts with label finding happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finding happiness. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2014
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Describe Yourself With One Word, Summary
After talking to my friends for this miniseries of blogs, and hearing how they would describe themselves to me, I've learned a couple of things.
1. How a person views them self is not always how others may see them.
2. Asking a person to explain why they see them self in that light can give you more insight on their personality.
3. Finally, the listener, if they pay attention, can learn something about themselves as well.
How we act, react, and interact with other people has a lot to do with both personalities. Let me give an example. Many of my friends will say that I am an outgoing, confident person. On the other hand, some will tell you that I am reserved. Why two different answers? I'm still the same person! It may have to do with how well the person actually knows me... but I think that mostly, it has to do a lot with their own personality. Some people in my life, I am outgoing and confident around, while I can be very reserved around others. The people I'm confident around make feel comfortable with being myself. I don't feel like they will criticize or judge me, so I can be whomever I want. Other people, maybe they don't judge me specifically, but they have a more conservative nature about themselves, causing me to react by being more reserved around them. We feed off of each other's personalities.
One of the people that I talked about in this series is always trying to get me to open up... "Use your words," he says to me. As I've said before, I am a very guarded person, and he sees that. He intentionally forces me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes it works, and I'll talk... sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I just clam up and it's the end of the conversation! Why is he able to force himself past my walls at all? I've known some people for years, and they have never learned as much about me as he has in just a few months. Mostly, I feel that he is aware of my walls and intentionally tries to knock them down. Most people hit a dead end that I have created, and revert back to small talk. They don't care enough to get to know what is really me. I guess they figure that if I'm not willing to just lay it out there and give them the story of my life, then they're not going to work for it. I see it the other way around. If they aren’t willing to try to get to know me, they I don’t care to share with them anyways.
As much as one person has had to work to get to know me, someone comes along very rarely, and I immediately trust them. They don't have to push for information... it flows freely! We can laugh, talk, share, and I feel completely at ease. What is it about that person that I trust wholeheartedly, immediately? I don't think my feelings are going to get hurt. I don't feel like all of my secrets are going to be given to someone else. I feel perfectly comfortable being myself, no matter what my mood is that day. I love that! Likewise, no matter what she says or does, I feel no need to criticize or think less of her. I think she is great… why would I want to change that? Our personalities mesh very well together.
Sometimes, I find that there are people that do want to know more about me. They try hard to get over, under, around and even through my walls. For some reason, however, the harder they try, the more guarded I become. It’s almost like my subconscious mind is telling me that they are not someone that I should be opening up to. I have someone in my life like that right now. He is a great person, but for someone reason, the harder he pulls, the harder I feel myself pulling back. I can’t exactly put my finger on why. This is just my natural reaction to his personality.
At a point in my life, not that long ago, I had stated that “Relationships make me feel like I am suffocating.” After some self assessment, I’ve figured out that it’s really not so much relationships that do it… and it’s not the person that I’m in a relationship with… it’s me. As I explained earlier, it is how I react and interact with the person that I’m paired with. We feed off of and react to other people’s personalities.
In addition to that, something inside of me is so afraid of rejection that I am willing to just forget about what I like and don’t like, and everything I do is about the other person’s wants and needs. I over-compromise to the point of my unhappiness, which leads to theirs as well.
For instance, if that person is more introverted than I am, and we go to a party, I feel bad if I walk around the room introducing myself to strangers because they may see it as flirting, or as me leaving them out. But, being the introvert that they are, they don’t want to just randomly meet strangers and talk to them! So, in my mind, I’m suffocating because now I’m just standing at a party, talking to the only three people there that I know. That is not fun to me... but worse, I won’t say a word to them about my unhappiness.
I tend to lose a sense of who I am… I completely engross myself in the relationship. Riding in the car, we will listen to what he likes to… at the time, it seems like it’s just something minor, but after years of listening to his music, I can’t even remember what kind I like any more! When choosing a place to eat, my reaction is usually to the tune of, “I don’t care, just pick a place.” What if I hate the food there? I’m so busy compromising, trying to make the relationship work that in the long run, I am compromising myself!
So, I had to step back from my last relationship. I needed to figure out myself. These are some things that I’ve learned about myself… even though I am guarded and sometimes moody; I am also funny, outgoing, and very social. I like older rock and roll more than any other kind of music. Reading books is my hobby, and I’m perfectly ok with being a little nerdy about it. I love sushi, pasta and taco soup. I enjoy hanging out with my friends, whether it is going to a bar, chilling at the house, or going to the pool. My friends are very important to me! I like running on cool mornings to clear my head, and I do not like spending my time watching television. As much as I love my friends, I get in moods sometimes when I want to be left alone.
Above all, I have learned that whether I am in a relationship or not, I need to set boundaries for myself. I will still react off of other people’s personalities… I think that’s how we all get along. But, I can no longer compromise my happiness and self worth because of my fear of rejection. In the long run, I would be unhappy anyways, because of losing my sense of self.
I like who I am. I think I’ll keep it that way.
1. How a person views them self is not always how others may see them.
2. Asking a person to explain why they see them self in that light can give you more insight on their personality.
3. Finally, the listener, if they pay attention, can learn something about themselves as well.
How we act, react, and interact with other people has a lot to do with both personalities. Let me give an example. Many of my friends will say that I am an outgoing, confident person. On the other hand, some will tell you that I am reserved. Why two different answers? I'm still the same person! It may have to do with how well the person actually knows me... but I think that mostly, it has to do a lot with their own personality. Some people in my life, I am outgoing and confident around, while I can be very reserved around others. The people I'm confident around make feel comfortable with being myself. I don't feel like they will criticize or judge me, so I can be whomever I want. Other people, maybe they don't judge me specifically, but they have a more conservative nature about themselves, causing me to react by being more reserved around them. We feed off of each other's personalities.
One of the people that I talked about in this series is always trying to get me to open up... "Use your words," he says to me. As I've said before, I am a very guarded person, and he sees that. He intentionally forces me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes it works, and I'll talk... sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I just clam up and it's the end of the conversation! Why is he able to force himself past my walls at all? I've known some people for years, and they have never learned as much about me as he has in just a few months. Mostly, I feel that he is aware of my walls and intentionally tries to knock them down. Most people hit a dead end that I have created, and revert back to small talk. They don't care enough to get to know what is really me. I guess they figure that if I'm not willing to just lay it out there and give them the story of my life, then they're not going to work for it. I see it the other way around. If they aren’t willing to try to get to know me, they I don’t care to share with them anyways.
As much as one person has had to work to get to know me, someone comes along very rarely, and I immediately trust them. They don't have to push for information... it flows freely! We can laugh, talk, share, and I feel completely at ease. What is it about that person that I trust wholeheartedly, immediately? I don't think my feelings are going to get hurt. I don't feel like all of my secrets are going to be given to someone else. I feel perfectly comfortable being myself, no matter what my mood is that day. I love that! Likewise, no matter what she says or does, I feel no need to criticize or think less of her. I think she is great… why would I want to change that? Our personalities mesh very well together.
Sometimes, I find that there are people that do want to know more about me. They try hard to get over, under, around and even through my walls. For some reason, however, the harder they try, the more guarded I become. It’s almost like my subconscious mind is telling me that they are not someone that I should be opening up to. I have someone in my life like that right now. He is a great person, but for someone reason, the harder he pulls, the harder I feel myself pulling back. I can’t exactly put my finger on why. This is just my natural reaction to his personality.
At a point in my life, not that long ago, I had stated that “Relationships make me feel like I am suffocating.” After some self assessment, I’ve figured out that it’s really not so much relationships that do it… and it’s not the person that I’m in a relationship with… it’s me. As I explained earlier, it is how I react and interact with the person that I’m paired with. We feed off of and react to other people’s personalities.
In addition to that, something inside of me is so afraid of rejection that I am willing to just forget about what I like and don’t like, and everything I do is about the other person’s wants and needs. I over-compromise to the point of my unhappiness, which leads to theirs as well.
For instance, if that person is more introverted than I am, and we go to a party, I feel bad if I walk around the room introducing myself to strangers because they may see it as flirting, or as me leaving them out. But, being the introvert that they are, they don’t want to just randomly meet strangers and talk to them! So, in my mind, I’m suffocating because now I’m just standing at a party, talking to the only three people there that I know. That is not fun to me... but worse, I won’t say a word to them about my unhappiness.
I tend to lose a sense of who I am… I completely engross myself in the relationship. Riding in the car, we will listen to what he likes to… at the time, it seems like it’s just something minor, but after years of listening to his music, I can’t even remember what kind I like any more! When choosing a place to eat, my reaction is usually to the tune of, “I don’t care, just pick a place.” What if I hate the food there? I’m so busy compromising, trying to make the relationship work that in the long run, I am compromising myself!
So, I had to step back from my last relationship. I needed to figure out myself. These are some things that I’ve learned about myself… even though I am guarded and sometimes moody; I am also funny, outgoing, and very social. I like older rock and roll more than any other kind of music. Reading books is my hobby, and I’m perfectly ok with being a little nerdy about it. I love sushi, pasta and taco soup. I enjoy hanging out with my friends, whether it is going to a bar, chilling at the house, or going to the pool. My friends are very important to me! I like running on cool mornings to clear my head, and I do not like spending my time watching television. As much as I love my friends, I get in moods sometimes when I want to be left alone.
Above all, I have learned that whether I am in a relationship or not, I need to set boundaries for myself. I will still react off of other people’s personalities… I think that’s how we all get along. But, I can no longer compromise my happiness and self worth because of my fear of rejection. In the long run, I would be unhappy anyways, because of losing my sense of self.
I like who I am. I think I’ll keep it that way.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
A Glance Back
Well, I've started writing this post 3 or 4 times now. I know what I want to say, but for some reason, I'm not able to get it out the way I want. So, rather than get wordy and philosophical... I'll just lay it out there.
I've looked over my blogs from the past year.
I've come a long way...
I'm a happier, healthier person.
I'd like to go into more detail about the people that have been in my life over the past year, helping me get to where I am now, but as I've said... I really just can't find the right words.
Let me just say that I am grateful. I appreciate everyone in my life.
I know that I am exactly where I need to be.
The biggest thing I've learned is that sometimes things happen for a reason. Even if we don't know what that reason may be, God usually has a bigger plan for us! I lost my job in October. In the long run, he meant me to be exactly where I am right now.
He knows what we need, even when we don't.
Life is absolutely good.
I've looked over my blogs from the past year.
I've come a long way...
I'm a happier, healthier person.
I'd like to go into more detail about the people that have been in my life over the past year, helping me get to where I am now, but as I've said... I really just can't find the right words.
Let me just say that I am grateful. I appreciate everyone in my life.
I know that I am exactly where I need to be.
The biggest thing I've learned is that sometimes things happen for a reason. Even if we don't know what that reason may be, God usually has a bigger plan for us! I lost my job in October. In the long run, he meant me to be exactly where I am right now.
He knows what we need, even when we don't.
Life is absolutely good.
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