Social Networking Etiquette

The night before last, I re-posted a picture that I saw on Facebook. I felt it was motivational, which was what prompted me to put it on my wall. I am not a highly political person, but anyone that is familiar with my personal situation (former military, currently unemployed) would have known immediately that I didn't agree 100% with what the picture said. I posted it purely out of motivational purposes.

The next morning, I was on FB, and checked my page... I had a whole string of 4 different people arguing about the politics that this person's photo brought up. Now, I've had my posts "hijacked" before, and I generally don't mind as long as it is a friendly conversation, or even a lighthearted debate... BUT, I do have a problem when the very first line that one of the people posted included all capital letters, a cuss word, and several exclamation points.

Now I'm offended.
I deleted the entire post from my wall.

Unfortunately, with the new way that FB has set up the Home Page, the people that were part of the "discussion" can still post on it, and were continuing to do so for another hour after it was deleted. I was less concerned at that point because it was no longer on my page.

But I feel that it got even "better." After I deleted the page, the person that was kind enough to begin the debate with the expletive, messaged me with an "apology" that went along the lines of "... the majority of my Facebook friends are very conservative and I get bombarded with stuff like that all the time, it can be tough to keep quiet when your beliefs are routinely discounted in public. Nothing personal, I'll refrain from further rants..."

First off, if I put it on MY OWN page, how am I bombarding HIM???

In any case, I don't personally feel that was an appropriate reason to blast on my page, but I was courteous and replied with a "Thank you." I also made comment that I have no problem about people and their opinions, but I prefer to keep my Facebook page drama-free.

He also added a public apology on the string of comments under the picture, as did someone else... So, I just figured it was over with and moved on with my day.

Then, later, I receive another message from him... "So out of curiosity, do you feel that if someone posts an opinionated picture or rant on their page that they are inviting feedback, both positive and negative? Or is it only appropriate to reply if you agree? I guess that's why there is no unlike button, Facebook just wants everyone to get along (or at least pretend.)."

That was the last straw.
Can't just let it be?

I'll admit that this is where I lost my politeness. I do think that people can have a polite debate about subjects... but once they become rude (and using cuss words constitutes "rude") then that is too much. I have deleted comments from my own close family members from my page before because I felt they were being inappropriate.

So, in response, I mentioned something about how I would never have ranted on his page, and that if he didn't agree with FB's lack of an unlike button, then he isn't being forced to stay, and finally, I said something about hitting "Share" and posting on his own wall. By the time I had hit "send," I was past the point of being courteous, but I no longer cared. I felt he was just trying to egg me on, and frankly, I was tired of it. Never once did he even ask me WHY I posted the picture, or what MY feelings on the subject were.

This is the way I see it... I'm entitled to my opinion on my OWN wall. To be honest, I wouldn't dream of going to his or anyone else's wall and starting crap. I feel that if he had a real problem with that picture, then he should have hit "Share" and put it on his own wall, followed my his rant. When I see things on someone else's page that I don't agree with, I just move on. I'm not in any way compelled to blast that person on a public forum. At the very most, I might decide to just message that person (although I've never done that, either).

Facebook is being inundated right now with copy/paste comments about "Taking the Christ out of Christmas by being 'forced' to say Happy Holidays instead." I have my own personal opinions on that... and they are very strong opinions, but I still wouldn't dream of going on someone else's page and starting an argument over it. How is this different? I can't help but think that if I were to post something regarding my religion on my own page, he wouldn't even consider blasting me for it. Why does he feel that it is appropriate to do the same thing regarding my political preferences?

In any case, I guess neither of us are right, and neither of us are really wrong. He was standing up for what he believed in. Good for him. I think he went about it the wrong way. When I see something that I don't agree with, I just move on. I can accept that a person is allowed their own opinions and they aren't forcing them on me in any way by putting them on their own wall. That doesn't make me right. It just makes me a different person.

So, finally, in the spirit of Social Networking Etiquette, I believe that we should listen to Thumper's Mother, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Loved One?

Before I get into the point of this blog, let me give a little background on me...

I am not good at picking up the phone. I don't call people. It's not because I don't think about you. It's not that I'm talking to someone more interesting. It's not that I have more interesting things to do with my time. In all honesty... it IS because I have a very boring life and I can't imagine that you would be at all interested in it. I'm not the type of person to pour my heart (or even most of my random thoughts) out to someone on the phone. I honestly don't want to "trap" someone on the phone and make them listen to me tell them that I went to work, came home, cooked dinner, watched a little TV, did some laundry, and went to bed... EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE since our last phone call. Nothing at all different.

"No news is good news," I always say.

So, I started a blog to air out my random thoughts, without roping anyone into having to listen to my rant over the phone. This leaves it optional to stop at any time...

That being said, I imagine that there are some people that are close to me that have their feelings hurt because I don't call more often (I don't exactly hear my phone ringing, either, though). Apparently, I come from a long line of people that have no idea what to say on the phone. I'm ok with that. Some people may not be, but then they could call me. I do answer the phone!

So, anyways, someone that I love and care deeply about (but probably don't call often enough) has left a very rude message on my "social network" page recently. I had posted something about this whole living rent-free thing, and some friends of mine understood where I was coming from and posted some words of encouragement. In addition, a couple of family members called me on the phone and discussed these decisions with me. Once we'd had our conversations and made sure I wasn't off my rocker, they also proceeded to post encouraging words on my page.

Then, there is this one person. I love her because of who she is, but we seldom see eye to eye. We both understand that about eachother and therefore do try to respect eacother's opinions... until now. Apparently, after reading my statements, rather than calling me (like the other relatives did), she decided it would be appropriate to write a scathing message towards me... and towards all of the other people that left any encouragement at all.

This seemed incredibly rude to me, so I deleted all trace of my plans. Rather than reply with a rude phone call, e-mail, or equally imbarassing statement on her page, I just left the matter alone for a little while... so we could both cool off. This is also why I haven't mentioned this in blog-form until now.

Being the Libra that I am, I needed to see it from all angles: Does she really have a right to react in the way that she did? Did I do something that warranted this type of behavior? Will I be able to call this person and discuss the event calmly and rationally? Will I be ok at the end of the converastion, if she still does not see my side of things? Have I waited too long to call?

Since I have not answered all of these questions in my head, I am hesitant to call. I did break down and attempt a few days ago, but got the answering machine. I did not leave a message. To be honest, I am at a loss for words for now. Say the wrong thing, and things go downhill fast. But, I know for a fact that the person knows I tried, because she has caller-ID. In fact, she is a "screener" and I believe it is quite likely that she was at home, saw it was me, and refused to answer, waiting to see what I would say on her machine. This, of course, is all speculation... and bitterness has begun working it's way in, I guess.

Anyways, in the long run, what I don't understand, is why she didn't just ask me about it, like the other relatives did? Why can't she give me the benefit of the doubt, instead of making rude accusations? Why did she feel it was appropriate to insult my other friends and family that were already more familiar with the situation, because they DID call and discuss it with me? Is the whole thing stemming from anger over the fact that I didn't call her immediately and discuss what I was going to do? When did we develop that relationship? Hasn't it ever occurred to her that this type of behavior may be the actual reason as to WHY I don't call her and discuss my life openly with her?

As I've stated earlier, I love her, but she doesn't call me whenever she makes changes in her life. I'm 35 years old. I was unaware that I was required to call her with every step that I took, since I was not required to do so in the past.

Now, don't for a minute think that I feel like I'm not responsible for anything. But, to be honest, the only thing that I can think of that would cause her to blow up like this, is that I'd discussed the subject with other people, instead of coming to her first. In addition, some of the people that I had discussed the situation with were people that she isn't a huge fan of (to say the least). I can see how that could hurt her feelings. BUT, if she had called and talked to me, I could have explained to her that those people called me. I did not call them. But she doesn't want to hear that. She would prefer to be angry.

So, I'm afraid that I will just allow her to be angry for a little while. While I do love her (of course!), I have enough stress in my life without worrying about one more person being angry at me for my life's choices. That's what I have an ex-husband (and his whole family) for.