Sometimes, I can be very impatient. Sometimes, I can be very selfish. Sometimes, I get annoyed about little things, but in my mind, they are so much bigger. Then, later on, I think, "What was the big deal?"
This morning, Chuck forgot something at the house, and since I would be driving close to where he now works, he sent me a text, asking me to drop it off for him.
The problem was, I didn't get the text until after I'd left, so I had to turn around and get the item. That put me about 5 minutes behind.
Then, I had to swing by his work to drop it off, putting me another 5 minutes behind.
Then, because I was now running 10 minutes behind schedule, I passed the elementary school when all the kids were arriving, putting me another 10 minutes behind.
On top of it, I wound up behind a semi, and a motorcycle tailgating me (wtf? Who tailgates on a motorcycle?) for most of the drive to work.
But, I still wound up arriving 10 minutes before 8am, so I still wasn't late.
Still, the whole thing just threw my morning off, and irritated me to no end. Why? Really, what was the big deal? So I had to drive out of my way a little bit. He wasn't asking for anything major.
It wasn't his fault that I was annoyed.
It was me.
I need to get over myself!
I do try to be compassionate and caring, but I know that because I'm not a morning person (at all!!), my patience is so much thinner.
I have a morning routine;
daily habits,
coffee-time ritual.
Am I really that "old and set in my ways?" Geez, Brenda, get a grip!
Why is it so easy to become annoyed and impatient with the people that we care about the most? If Chuck's sister had asked me to run and do something for her really quick, first thing in the morning, I would have done it willingly. But, the person that is my "other half" is the one that receives the negative energy.
All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't say anything snotty to him this morning when I dropped off the item (that would've required an apology later on today), and that I had the whole rest of the drive to work to consider my own reactions. Perhaps that is why God put the semi in front of me. He needed me to slow down and consider what a difficult person I had just been.
It seems that I was put into a Karmic "Time Out" and I would say that I'd earned it.
It's funny you had that experience cause it happens to me all the time. Your not "old and set in your ways" and you have never been a morning person; however, the important thing is that you were able to realize your own character challenge which is the first step to adjust how you react to situations such as the one you experienced today.
ReplyDeleteMany times the ones we love the most become our emotional outlet simple because we know they are/will be either supportive or have the courage to tell us about ourselves. My wife does this more times than I can count. You see with my condition I snap as fast as a loght switch. Many times over something that is unimportant or trivial. And trust me I get informed of it very quickly. Then after some reflection (hours later) I have to swallow my pride and appologize for my silly behavior. It is that comfortablity with your partner that makes it so easy to become annoyed with them over nothing.
Everyday I try to remember that noone is perfect and things happen. Many times at the worst possible time. So you remain flexable and take it as it comes. It is that mindset that keeps stress down and allows you to embrace life to its fullest.
I am not saying it is easy by any means but being able to recognize when you routine is disturbed and not let it affect you in a negative manner takes a strong, thoughtful mind. Like your last blog stated "embrace the chaos" but remain flexable at the same time.
Confusious said "A reed that does not bend with the wind will alwaus break." Great job realizing that you were the reed that was becoming to ridged.
Greg, have I mentioned that I appreciate your friendship? Thank you for this. It's reassuring to hear that my impatience is normal. I do plan to remain vigilant over my attitude. It seems like it is a constant struggle.
ReplyDeleteI realize that I can enjoy life so much more if I step back and embrace the daily differences in my life, instead of trying to fight everything. It is a mental state.
I need to constantly remind myself that "this is minor" and that "this, too, shall pass."
I have to just sit back and smile.
~Bren