Three Steps Forward

I have a friend that told me recently that I needed to “Make a Plan” for my life. I completely agree. I've never been one to look at long-term, but I've always worked really hard at keeping my present in check. It's time to change my focus into longer term. I guess I'm more of a defense player, and I need to learn to be more offensive. Maybe it's time to run the ball, and quit trying to intercept!

I mentioned in my last post that I'd been looking into the "steps" for improving one's life. So, here goes:

Life Coaching: Achieve Any Goal With This 3-Step Process
1. Make sure you want it.
2. Make sure you know why you want it.
3. Make sure those closest to you know why you want it.

I do think this is a great list. I appreciate the simplicity, but I believe I should address exactly what it is that I want before anything else. Hmm... I think I'm already off to a bad start.... I want too many things! haha! Ok, in essence, I want to pay off my bills and be financially stable/responsible again. I want the person in my life to know that he is there because I WANT him to be, and not ever feel that I need him to be for financial reasons.

So, I want to be stable. I firmly feel that I'm already financially responsible, because I pay all bills before anything else. I can't remember the last time I bought new clothes, or got my hair done or anything like that. So, I am definitely responsible to my bills. Divorce can just do some unbelievable things to formally excellent credit, as if it isn't hard enough emotionally! But, it is time to be free. Free of the confines that this divorce has put on me.

I was bogged down by a less than stellar marriage, and even though I left three years ago, sadly, he still has a hold on my life. By taking all of my money (ok, not all of it, but I think 1/3 of my paycheck is a LOT when he makes WAY more than I do), he still holds the reins. That really pisses me off! So, it's time to be offensive! It is MY TURN to carry the ball, and I will throw it to whomever I want to throw it to!

So, ** I WISH, OH FAIRY GODMOTHER, TO BE FINANCIALLY STABLE. **

Ok. Time to move on to my list.

#1: Make sure you want it. Oh, believe me. I want it. I want it bad. ;o)

#2: Make sure you know why you want it. Um, well... for all the reasons I've talked about. I'm tired of giving all of my money to bill collectors, and never getting to spend anything on myself, my kids, or anyone else that I love. I would like to buy nice things for Ashleigh and Carley, mail my nieces and nephew birthday gifts, get myself some new clothes, buy Chuck something cool for his birthday, and so on. I would like to go have sushi and wine with Monica, and go to a nice dinner with Chuck's parents. I could make weekend trips to Florida and see Carley more often! I just want to live again. I want to rid my body of the constant stress of bills and be able to enjoy my life again. I feel like I've lived the last 3 years in the dark, and it's time to walk into the light... It's only three steps away, and this is the second step!!

#3: Make sure those closest to you know why you want it. Well, of course they do! I'll make fliers if I have to, but everyone knows that Chuck and I are moving out of the house, and are working on paying these bills off! I've made a 1-year plan, and three of the five bills will be completely paid off, and the remaining two will be more than half paid off. How's that for a goal?? I am happy to tell anyone that will listen to me.

Of course, I’m sure D.M. wasn’t referring to a one-year plan when she told me I needed a plan for my life, but since I’m a “live for the present” and “defense” kind of girl, then a one-year plan is an excellent first step. Let me try this on for size, before moving into a five-year plan. I just have a hard time planning that far ahead, because I don’t trust people. I make a five-year plan, and within a year, the person that I had made plans with is gone.

WTF?

I know I shouldn’t think like that, but it’s really hard not to. But, my therapy session can wait for some other day!

Minimum Payment Hell

Ok, so Chuck and I are stuck in "Minimum Payment Hell" and there seems to be no escape. I have several bills left over from my divorce, plus my (already re-financed) vehicle payment, insurance, and a lawyer to repair the child support damage that I am still paying for (if you don't know that story, ask me another time). Because of these bills, and living in the middle of nowhere (with a gas-guzzling-machine that I REFUSE to get rid of), we are barely able to make ends meet. When ends do finally meet at the end of the month, we spend what little we have left to buy a handful of groceries and pray it gets us buy until we can do it all over again. No, this is NOT a sympathy ploy, and no, we do NOT want people to send money! This is just the basis for explaining WHY we've developed The Plan.

I've tried for part-time jobs, but after spending a lot of time applying everywhere online, and then spending valuable Saturdays applying in person to everywhere that I could think of, I finally gave up. I began noticing that I'm older than a lot of the MANAGERS in those places (if one more teeny-bopper-hostess-girl calls me Ma'am and looks down her nose at me, I promise, I'll break her face...). Eventually, I sensed my own hostility and decided to call it a day and go home.

We've looked everywhere that we could think of for an appropriate home (and we have lowered our standards a LOT) in order to save money through rent. But, once we pay a deposit on the house, and more on utilities, gas/trucks/food for moving, etc., then we're not really going to be any better off than before. So, we gave up on that angle.

So, Chuck and I have decided to sell off pretty much everything we own, and live off of the kindness of others for several months. By saving $700/month in rent, plus utilities, we are hoping to pay down/or pay off some of these bills! We do have a tent, and some other things that will make this slightly less of a challenge. He has a sister and his parents in this area that we may stay with. Otherwise, this will be an interesting experience.

Occassionally, we may splurge and get an inexpensive hotel room, but otherwise, we will be nomads.

Hippies.

Homeless.

(Don't freak out, Mom. It will be ok.)

I'm not going to lie. The whole prospect scares the hell out of me. I do look forward to getting rid of bills. Not always knowing where we will be "a week from today" will be a whole other story.
Right now, we are going to be working on selling everything we can, and putting the rest in a very small storage unit. Carley will be spending a couple of weeks with us towards the end of July, and when she goes home on July 31st, we move out.

That being said, we will be looking for friends to let us stay at their home or camp in their back yard for a couple of days (or even weeks) at a time. We are willing to house-sit as well, if anyone is going out of town. We are respectful and respectable. We are honest and hard working. Please pass the word around to anyone that lives within an hour's drive from where we currently live! Thank you!