Body Stereotypes

As many of you probably know, I had lost about 40 pounds in the beginning of last year. This year, I'm working on improving my overall strength, especially my upper body. In May, I will be taking part in the Tough Mudder obstacle course with some teammates, which is about 10-13 miles long.

As I am working on getting myself into better and better shape, I notice that a lot of the muscles that I had while growing up are starting to return. It's like my body already knows how to develop strength... I just haven't pushed it in about 20 years.

(A little background... I grew up on a dairy farm, so I always helped bail hay, carry buckets, lift bags of grain, etc. Because of my upbringing, I was pretty strong for a girl of my age.)

So, thankfully, my body remembers being strong and I'm getting back in that direction.

While spending all this time at the gym, I also do research on eating healthy, proper food choices, vitamins and supplements, etc. I also have "liked" a few pages on Facebook that show other women that also work hard and are proud of the improvements that they have made with their bodies.

Personally, I love being strong.

I love the independence that it allows me, especially since I have a mostly-guy dominated job.

I don't, however, wish to become a body builder that sprays their tans on and stands in front of a crowd in a bikini and flexes. To me, those women have over-done it and are no longer feminine. While I do want to see stomach muscles ripple and my calves move when I walk... I don't want to look like that.

Basically, I am trying to find a happy medium. I just want definition without losing my "girlish figure."

I am posting a picture of what I feel I would like to look like. You can see the girl's muscles, but she's not all veiny and body-builder-ish. To me, she is still very sexy and feminine... I have, however, had different men tell me that she's not attractive and that they don't want someone with "that many muscles."

Please post your opinions... I look forward to reading them!

The Ex, Detox, and Jobs

Ok, so I realize that I haven't really updated lately. So... let's see...

I got a phone call from Tim's current wife this morning, asking if Ash had her necklace that has apparently been missing for over a year. I don't know if she did or didn't take it... To be honest, I don't know why she would... but whatever. I've never seen her wearing it. But, apparently, we are now friends, and can share conversations about the kids... I would actually appreciate that, since Tim won't tell me anything... However, in retrospect, I should have asked her why she didn't call me when her daughter totaled a vehicle with my daughter in it??? I didn't want to pick a fight, though.

In other news, Monica, Chuck and I attempted to "detox" our bodies before starting a diet of "making better choices." So, we were off and running:
Day 1... Monica had a headache, Chuck was irritable (he stopped caffeine and nicotine in the same day!!) and went to bed early, and I made it through in one piece.
Day 2... Monica still had a headache, and was hungry, Chuck was less irritable but very tired, and I had a ridiculous headache, which also made me irritable.
Day 3.... I woke up with that same headache, and weirdly enough... my kidneys hurt all day. Chuck was back to being irritable, and Monica decided she was done with the detox and went on to the "diet" portion by making herself an omelet for breakfast. That opened the door for me to have a cup of coffee, and my headache was gone (kidneys still hurt this morning, tho, for some reason).

So, we quit with the detox, and have all agreed to just limit the bad things (coffee for me, Cokes and chew for Chuck, and junk food for Monica). We will also be keeping an eye on our carbohydrate intake, and making sure to fill our snacks with fruits and veggies instead of junk food. We are all weighing ourselves first thing in the morning to see if any of us lost any weight from it.

Finally, the search for a job goes on...When I went through cancer and chemo, I found out who my real friends were. I learned very quickly that they may or may not be the people that are in your life every single day. They don't have to be on the phone with you on a regular basis, or babysit your kids on the weekends.

Your true friends will just step forward when you need it the most. I have had countless true friends offer help to me lately. I would love to make a list of all the people that have offered to give my resume to someone, or suggested a company or website, or gave me info on an opening somewhere, or even just gave me tips on how to beef up my resume. You are all awesome!!

Now, I don't have a job offer coming in yet, but I KNOW that when one does, it will be something really good, doing something that I WANT to do, some place closer to Carley.

I am excited about the opportunities that I know are coming my way!

I finally broke down and told Carley last night that I had lost my job, and that I am looking for something in Jacksonville. I told her that I can't make any promises, but I am trying to get closer to her. She was so excited, and that was just even more incentive for me to make sure this happens. I believe that if you want something bad enough, you have to find a way to make sure it happens.

When I lost my job, I was devastated.
I loved working for that company.
I loved my customers.
I loved the people I worked with.
I used that job as a reason not to leave Georgia.

I knew that I was unhappy being away from my daughter, but I was so afraid to quit, because I didn't know if I could find something just as fulfilling. So, even though being unemployed SUCKS from a financial aspect, I have an amazing support group, both here in Georgia, and with my family and friends. I know this was the kick in the pants that I needed to get back down Florida and to be in Carley's life on a much more regular basis.

I can't wait to see what the next step in my life will be. I am READY to get started (if only that phone would ring...lol).