I've spent all morning going one website at a time: GI Jobs 2011 Top 100 Military Friendly Companies.
I am on the second page, and I've applied at 3 different places. I look though their job postings, and if I find something that I think I can qualify for, I go ahead and apply.
(sn. This process takes forever because each application is PAGES long. The last one was 7 pages!)
I'm a little bummed, because I'm really hoping to find something in the field that I was in while in the military.
I'm so sick of sitting behind a desk! But, apparently, I'm going to spend the rest of my life as an Administrative Assistant, doing Customer Service stuff.
Not what I want to do, but whatever... Super.
I'm upset because I haven't received even one response, inquiring more information, or even faking interest in the three weeks since I've started applying.
I have had several friends give me feedback on my resumes, and I have shortened and reworded them to be more suitable... I think...
Whatever.
Does it really matter?
I keep wasting my time, filling out applications...
I'm trying to find something in or near Jacksonville, that pays at least close to what I was making before.
I can't afford to be flexible on that because I have to be able to pay child support and be able to support myself.
It's not looking good, so I'm really starting to worry.
I'm not writing this to have 10 people tell me "Oh, you'll find something." or "Don't worry, everything works out."
I'm past that.
I've been telling myself that for a couple of weeks.
It's NOT.
It DOESN'T.
I am running out of money, and even if I find a job, I have no idea how on earth I'll be able to GET to Florida, much less support myself until I start getting paid.
I'm frustrated.
I'm scared.
I'm sad...
...and I'm venting.
I can't use my education, either, because UMUC is holding it hostage....
OF COURSE THEY ARE, THIS IS MY LIFE... WHY WOULDN'T THEY???
Seriously. If it can go wrong, it will.
Some days you just want to quit trying.
You want to stop trying to put up a strong front.
You want to just give in to all of the outside forces and let the walls come crashing down.
I feel like I've been holding up one wall at a time forever, and when I hold one up, another falls.
- I am diagnosed with cancer... my marriage fails.
- I leave Florida in the hopes of being able to support myself... I lose my kids to my ex.
- I get my child support crap fixed... and I lose my job.
- I feel positive about finding a new job near Carley... and find out that I can't use any of my education on my resume because the stupid school is holding my transcripts hostage.
Seriously?
I really want to just say F@!$ IT and throw in the towel because this S&#% is really starting to P*!$ me off!!
Oh, did I mention that I can't zip the back window into my jeep, and winter is coming. I need new tires... AGAIN. And Rita is making a couple of funny noises that I'm pretty sure won't just stay "funny noises" forever.
Ok, I believe I'm finished for now. If I still smoked, I'd go have one right about now. Maybe a beer....
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