The Power of the Beard

So just about every day that we go through the gate to get on base, one of the (male) gate guards compliments Jonathan Lee about his beard.
Maybe it's just me, but hearing a straight guy compliment another straight guy on his looks, is weird.
But, being as it is... if he's that hot, and we're this broke, I've come to an obvious conclusion:
I'm pimping him out to anyone that will pay to touch his beard... — feeling determined.

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I have to share this hilarious conversation that Jonathan & I had last night after everyone left... (he was kinda tipsy)...
Jon (in the bedroom, pointing towards the living room): It's crazy out there!
Me: it's just the dryer.
J: no, baby, it's crazy! Shit flying everywhere!
M: haha!! No, really, it's just the dryer. It's loud.
J: there are socks flying through the air! There is underwear too, but the socks are what ya gotta watch out for.
M: the socks are shifty?
J: yeah, they'll get ya!!
Hahaa! I love him. That Guy constantly makes me laugh!! — feeling awesome.

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Me (at Sonic): I want the Asiago Chicken Sandwich.
Jon (to the order box): I need an Ozzy Osborn chicken sandwich.
Bwahahahaaa!! Bless him, he tried... and the guy knew what he meant! 

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Jon (at Steak n Shake): Holy crap! They have a Pepperoni Pizza Steakburger!
Me: Wow, it doesn't even look good. It's so bad for you!
Jon: It must be in my belly. Gimme one of your prilosecs.
Me: Ha! No way, you can't have a Prilosec so that you can intentionally eat all that!! Haha!
*Oh, and he also ordered a cookie dough milkshake.

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Military Intelligence

Working on a military base, I'm a witness to "Military Intelligence" all the time. Today, I was a victim of it.
Since I didn't retire from the military, I don't have a retired ID. Instead, when I started working as a contractor, the military/base operations issued me a separate ID, called a CAC Card.
I have always used this card to get onto the base because it SHOWS that I belong there, unlike any other form of ID that I might have.
**That was the PURPOSE of giving me this ID.**
So, on the way to work today, Jon drove, and at the gate, he handed over his retired ID & I used my CAC card (as per usual). The gate guard then insisted that I needed a SECOND form of ID!! WTF??
I can't count how many times I have come to work without my wallet. It was a miracle that I happened to grab it today!
So, then it comes out that with Jon's retired ID, I can come on the base with my Driver's License, as his "guest." But I can't use the CAC card any longer without a second form of ID to accompany it...
Holy Hell... I want to shake the hand of the genius that came up with that one. Jackass... — feeling annoyed