Unicorns and Rainbows

Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to change your way of thinking, you fall into a deep hole and only see negative in a situation.

And sometimes, even though you can see the other side with your logical part of your brain, you can't help the way you think and feel about a situation.

I'm not saying I'm depressed, or have a bad outlook on life, or anything like that. What I'm saying is, that sometimes certain situations create a jaded or cynical opinion. When the situation comes along, I have a hard time seeing the silver lining. For instance, I posted something on facebook that I was feeling today. It was just my opinion, and it in no way affected anyone else. In fact, I had even stated that I was trying to find joy in the situation, but was finding myself unable to.

After posting it, I realized that facebook really is no place for actual, deep thoughts. If it isn't Unicorns and Rainbows, then don't bother saying anything about it. People just tell you to change your way of thinking.

So, I deleted it.

But where does one go to have their thoughts actually heard? Thoughts are like emotions, they aren't really something you can control. If something pops into my head, it's there. I can't get rid of it now!

Unfortunately, because my feelings on the particular topic didn't mesh with the popular opinion, even my own boyfriend was saying I needed to focus on the good.

Where is a girl to go? Apparently, she goes to her blog, because there are so few people that actually read it that it serves more as a journal than an actual blog. I don't get any conversation about my thoughts, but at least it's a step. I can get them off my chest, and that's what really counts.

BTW, if you're wondering what the original fb post was about... I got so frustrated about not being "allowed" to share my non-mainstream thoughts, that the first problem now seems minor... so nevermind that...

The Steelers & Michael Vick

First thing this morning, my boyfriend posted a link on my facebook page, stating that my beloved Steelers had signed Michael Vick as a backup quarterback to Ben Roethlisberger.

I love my Pittsburgh Steelers.
But...
I am also an animal lover.
I like dogs better than most people.
If my pup doesn't like you, you can believe that I'll trust his opinion.

So, my first reaction?
"Please tell me this is a joke."
It wasn't.

So, I actually spent quite a bit of time thinking about this today. I considered boycotting my favorite team... the very idea kills me.
I considered just leaving the room when he plays, but what good would that do?

I know in my heart that somehow, I need to come to terms with this... or find a new team. Well Option Two was out of the question, so I started reading more on what Vick has been up to besides the NFL since the whole dog fighting/jail time incident.

Here is one of the articles I started with...
The signing of Michael Vick shows divide of Steelers Nation

In this article, it talks what he has done to try to redeem himself, including working to pass the Animal Fighting Spectator Prohibition Act in Congress, thus winning him the Ed Block Courage Award, voted to him by his Eagles team mates.

Well good for you. Your friends think you're great.

More info on that:
Animal Fighting Spectator Prohibition Act

Well here's the thing. I do think his efforts should be commended. Good for him for trying to do what's right. But I'm a skeptic. Is it all for show? Or is it actually coming from someplace deeper?
Has he had a true change of heart?

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
Once a pedophile, always a pedophile.
Once a gambler, always a gambler.
Once an animal abuser, always an animal abuser.

He may not act on his "old ways" any more, but that doesn't mean I have to like him. Anyone to have the cruelty in their heart to do what he did is not someone I can be a fan of.

So, all I can do now (since the Steelers didn't ask for my personal opinion before signing) is to hope that nothing happens to Ben... pray they find someone besides Vick before Ben retires, and hope that Vick continues to stick to his path of proving to the world that he's not an all around bad guy.

We shall see. Maybe I'll have a change of heart, too.

Until then, GO STEELERS! And GO BEN!